Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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