Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I forget how to act sober
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
