im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
