like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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