Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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