Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
