my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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