You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
