my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
