So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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