took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
