I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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