she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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