i jhust puked up my retainher.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You pole danced in your parka.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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