if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
