I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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