I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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