I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
