I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
