i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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