I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Is Oprah even human
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
