I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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