and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
