Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
