He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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