Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
