You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
