Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Farmville is her only friend.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
