Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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