you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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