is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
