Sponge bath it is.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
