you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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