I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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