It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
