U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
