Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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