Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
