Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
