I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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