at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize