im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Randomize
