I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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