I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
