so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
