yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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