THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
