I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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