I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
