my phone needs a breathalizer
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
