i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
People with herpes should wear stickers.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
