I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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