Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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