Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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