when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
