when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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