i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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