Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
