fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize