do herpes really smell.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
