clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize