Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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