I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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